Sodom Sentinel

I was very fortunate to locate a copy of the Sodom Sentinel newspaper from an antiquities dealer in Hampshire, England. Evolutionary biologists get most of their specimens from this dealer and he has a great reputation with them, so I’m certain that my newspaper is the real thing. It has the date of July 19, 2015BC.

Its quite fascinating actually. The headline reads “Men of God run out of Sodom”. According to the article, a minority group of religious zealots were trying to deny people the right to freely exercise their sexuality with whomever or whatever they choose. Thankfully the fundamentalist  bigots are gone. It was thought that after years of government crackdown and sensitivity training they would have adapted with society, but you how those tablet thumpers can be. There was a brief negotiation for some virgins that the perpetrators had bred, but the open minded folks marching were insistent on showing the perpetrators’ guests a new way of life. They escaped, but good riddance.

Also, there was an ecological section in the paper. Apparently science has saved the day with regards to dealing with those unwanted pregnancies that are really taking the pleasure out of their sexual revolution. An article titled “Make a profit from your Pleasure”. There is a local government project that will help you sell your unwanted baby’s parts to big corporations. Its a win for everyone as you’re paying for the agency with your taxes and you’d just throw that “tissue” away anyhow.” Recycle for Sodom” bumper stickers are available from your local NOW(National Organization of Witches) office.  Also noted was an article about government geologists trying to determine the source of that burning sulfur smell that has been getting stronger. Its expected that the government will institute more restrictive laws and assess heavier fines on local business.

On to the Sports section. It seems that a huge award for bravery has been given to Balal Raba a national sports hero for his becoming a heroine. Celebrations are ongoing. There doesn’t seem to be any sports scores. It doesn’t look like they keep score. but everyone seems happy about it anyway.

The Dating Classified section is divided into two parts, “Ya Wanna?” and “Hell Yeah!” I see that some names are listed in both columns. Not sure what to make of that.

The “Buy and Sell” section has quite an array of items, from a low mileage chariot ( with the CamelFax Report) to a “Darn Pretty Sheep” named Delilah from Gaza. You could get a camel load of salt delivered pretty cheap from “Salty Ham, your Unclean Provider”

It looks like higher taxes are on the way too. In a tiny paragraph below the Piggly-Wiggly ad it says that local officials voted themselves a raise and are exempt from any law they pass. Its sure hard to read that fine print.

OK, what does that have to do with us? If you take away the puns, that could be our newspaper for today. Some people like to say that the Bible is so old and it isn’t relevant in todays society. But you see, only the circumstances are different, the people aren’t any different from us. Sodoms sin was so grave(Gen 18:20) and ours isn’t much better is it? People have always been the same and that’s what the Bible addresses, the person. Folks in Sodom would fit right in with America and American folks with them. Change the dates and clothes and you couldn’t tell us apart.

While that is ominous enough, remember what Jesus said in Luke 17: 28-30. “Similarly as it was in the days of Lot: they were eating, drinking, buying, selling, planting, building;on the day when Lot left Sodom, fire and brimstone rained from the sky to destroy them all. So will it be the day the Son of Man is revealed.”  See to them it was just another day of self righteous sinning with no foreseeable consequence. We’re sinning like Sodom, with a boost from technology to make it easier, and America is convinced that it can get away with it. We believe that we have become superior to God or whatever myth keeps the dull of mind in their place. We live in a post Christian society that doesn’t want a Christian conscience taking away the joy of sin and its doing its best to purge society of that conscience. Listen to me very carefully, Sodom didn’t eliminate Gods existence or the consequences and neither can America.

Our only chance is for a Savior, someone to get us out before judgment hits. He promised and I have faith in His message, the Bible. Choose sides carefully friends, pray hard.

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