Like or Love?

There seems to be a bit of confusion today about what love is and what like is. They are worlds apart. I occasionally listen to a radio show from Moody Radio called “Midday Connection”, and its generally women from a collegiate setting talking about issues that women relate to and how they “feel” about different topics. While it would be interesting to delve into why they think their feelings matter when talking about truth, the most annoying thing about the program is that they “love” everything. Love, love, love, they love everything! They cant go 30 seconds without using that word. So do they really love every book they read and every comment anyone makes? No, of course not, its demeaning to the word. If they love everything, that means they love nothing. The term that they most likely mean is that they like something, but what is the practical difference between love and like? Can they be interchanged and is our society mislead in the real world meanings of those words?

Love and like are both powerful, affirming words that we all enjoy hearing. They’re nearly always used in a positive context, but entirely different. Consider it this way, we use” like” to describe how something makes US feel. Its entirely selfish(although positive), all about us and subjective. As soon as something stops making us feel good, we don’t like it anymore. I like my car till it breaks down, then it has to be replaced by one I like better. Like serves me.

What we’re seeing in America today is a lot of people are getting married because they like each other. The Supreme Court has even made it possible for same sex people that “like” each other to get married and I’d hate to imagine what else is coming. Society is changing not only the definition of marriage, but the foundation of it. The Biblical foundation is love, not like.

Love is entirely different from like. Love is a commitment of servanthood. How many women getting married today are dreaming of serving her husband and putting him above her? Likely none. They’re in “like” with their groom, thinking about how he’s going to make her feel and all the stuff they’ll buy. Likewise, How many men are thinking of serving and cherishing their wives? Few I’d guess. Free sex and someone to do his laundry are on his mind. Shortly, car seats, Cheerio”s everywhere, and diapers show up and they are no longer in “like” and they head for their lawyers with a cheering crowd of friends giving bad advice. That’s modern marriage and its leaving a generation of wounded kids with no foundation or even belief in love. Todays love has become a cruel trick to them, not even believing in marriage as  sustainable.

Love is different in that there is no way out. When that woman who used to spend an hour getting ready for a date, now only has time to slip on sweat pants because she has to care for your kids, and you can look at that exhausted, disheveled woman and proudly say “That ones mine”, friend that’s love. When a woman is stretching their food budget for every penny because her husband decided to start his own business and things aren’t going too well, but she is dedicated to that man and will live broke with him rather that get out, that is love. When life gets ugly and things seem out of control and you’re both determined to get through it because you haven’t allowed any other option or “get out ” clause, that’s love. There isn’t a drop of selfish temporal “like” in it.

My hope for you friends is that you are able to discern between “like” and” love”. Never marry someone that you’re in a like relationship with. Demand, expect, and be more. There are generations of people that are counting on your wisdom and yes, love, not like, is the answer.

If you’ll allow me a personal moment, I’d like to honor my Father in law and Mother in law. They are celebrating 50 years of love and dedication. I’m a grateful beneficiary of that dedication through their lovely daughter. Thank you, Butch and Lily, for demonstrating what love is, and giving the rest us hope when we are weak. Much respect.

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